Stay-At-Home Mom?

Stay-At-Home Mom? Maybelle Crabtree here. Based on my personal experience, the phrase Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM, for short) is a misnomer. Maybe in the beginning from birth until the child is walking, it is a true statement. But once the child is mobile, watch out! All bets are off. That is when all the classes begin: parent/tot, story-time, toddler tumbling, etc. Life takes on a new dynamic. Add additional kids to the equation and it is a wonder that a mom is at home at all.

A Stay at Home Mom

I did it for too many years. Juggling the schedule of three little ones who turned into bigger ones with more activities sometimes got the best of me. And most nights, dinner was at whatever had the best deal – Taco Tuesday, Fish Friday – for that day.  But I did. And I lived to tell about it. But it was difficult. And lots of other women do it too.

Now please do not take this the wrong way. I marvel at moms who are also working full-time. They not only have their kids’ schedules to manage but their own work schedule as well. Talk about stress. And I am sure some of those moms would love to stay home but because of maybe financial reasons they cannot. And that is okay. Each mom has to do what is best for her family.

A Working Mom

Why even I went back to work after Holly was in preschool. But it was part-time and flexible hours. I dropped off the kids at their respective schools and worked until it was time to pick up whomever from school. If I had to attend a meeting at night which happened once or twice a month, Tom came home early from work and took over the parenting duties. Sometimes I missed a meeting because Tom was out of town on business and the organization was good with that. They were very accommodating to me when I told them, prior to being hired, that my family came first. Of course, no one else was willing to do the job so I think they were very grateful when I said yes. However, that’s another story for another time.

But whether you work, and I do mean work, outside the home or in it, you are the glue that keeps the family together. The unsung hero who does not get enough recognition for all you do. You are the cheerleader, coach, and companion who shines the spotlight on your kids instead of yourself. And still, in spite of it all, you would do it all over again. At least, I would. It was the hardest job I ever loved. No time off. No vacation. And sick days? Do not even know what that is. But the rewards were priceless.

Role-Changing Mom

My role as mom has changed through the years. My kids do not need me as much as they used to and that’s okay. Tom and I taught them the basics of life and watched as they learned to fly on their own. To do what they love – within limits – and define what success means to them. And, most importantly, there is always a place called home if they need a little respite. My personal opinion is we did a pretty good job.

Now, as Mother’s Day approaches, I reflect back on those long ago days. Mother’s Day was basically just another Sunday which, honestly, was fine with me. I was always the first one up so no breakfast in bed for me. I made cinnamon rolls whose aromatic smell awakened the tribe and breakfast was a family event. Next was the school-made craft gifts from the kids and Tom’s funny greeting card. Then off to church. When we arrived home, I hid in my room. With the door locked. And read. And read. All day long. The day ended with a meal made by Tom with a little (and I do mean little) help from the kids. Not very elaborate. Just a simple and quiet day. But I would not change it for the world.

Finally, in celebration of Mother’s Day and all you moms out there, I leave you with a poem. It is my version of Psalm 23 written especially for mothers. Let me know what you think of it by leaving a comment below. Maybelle Crabtree sign off.

Psalm 23 For Mothers

My baby is my life, what more do I need?

You make me lie down when you do.

You lead me to new hopes and dreams.

And you restore my faith in the world.

You lead me on the path of firsts –

 steps, words, dates – for your own growth’s sake.

Even though I pace the hallways in the darkness

 of night, I will not let you be afraid.

For my love and my arms will comfort you.

You prepare me for life’s ups and downs.

And when I am the “enemy,” you anoint

 my body with spit up.

The Diaper Genie overflows.

Surely I will make mistakes but

grace will follow.

And I will dwell in the heart of my baby

 my whole life long.