Memorial service, celebration of life, funeral. Maybelle Crabtree here. Well the first quarter of 2025 has come and gone. And in that first quarter I have attended four – count them four – memorial services. Now I don’t know if that sounds like a lot to you but it does to me. Four people who I loved and respected are no longer here and that makes me very sad.
Memorial Service #1
The first memorial service was just after the new year began; the first weekend in fact. Her name was Mona and she was the mother of my good friend, Barbara. I met them both when I was seventeen and on a school trip to Philadelphia. Barbara and I were in the same group and Mona was our chaperone. Mona was funny, gracious, and had a glint of mischief always in her eyes. We, who were in her group, teased her a lot that week and she gave it right back to us.
After high school and college I lost track of them both. But late last year I was reunited with both of them. Mona was frail and using a walker but that glint was still in her eyes. She and I spent an afternoon of catching up on 30 plus years of life. I told her my life story and showed her photos of my kids and Tom. She, in turn, showed me photos of her grandkids. And we commiserated together about being widows. When we parted, I gave her a hug, kissed her on the cheek, and thanked her for sharing her wisdom and knowledge so long ago. She smiled and wished me a joyous life.
Celebration of Life #2
My second memorial service was later in January. Sally was a member of my church. We all called her Sassy Sally. She worked in “The Industry” during the Golden Years of Hollywood when all the major motion picture studios – Warner Brothers, Universal, 20th Century, United Artists, RKO – were in their heyday. Sally was never a star but had constant work as an extra in the background and occasional bit parts with lines to speak. She regaled me with stories of the actual stars she met and I was memorized by her tales. Her name may have not been in lights but to me she will always be a star.
Funeral #3
The third memorial service I attended was for Bob, the dad of my best friend, Beth. Beth died in her sleep last year. I’m not even over her death and now here I was mourning her dad. They moved across the street from my family when I was in junior high. Beth and I were instant friends. If I wasn’t at my house, chances were I was at theirs. Bob was a second dad to me. He was a short-haul truck driver; always home for dinner. Bob loved big band music, watched Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show, and cheered on the Green Bay Packers. He taught me the Lindy Hop and how to change the oil and fix a flat on my car.
Finally Memorial Service #4
Finally, and I hope it is the final one, the fourth memorial service was for my neighbor who lived across the street from me here on Primrose Lane. Rita, and her husband, Mac, were the designated grandparents in the neighborhood. They spoiled all the kids on the block; allowing them to come into their house and jump on the beds and making special treats for them on Halloween. She was a remarkable woman and my unofficial mentor. She was an incredible cook, excellent seamstress, and a gifted pianist. And she shared her talents by teaching these skills at various community colleges throughout her lifetime.
Rita received many honors and awards from numerous foundations and charities in town for the countless hours of service she gave to each one. Yet, she was humble and grounded by her faith in God. As a young mom, I wanted to be Rita. I still want to be Rita.
I Miss Them All
I’m telling you all this because even though I have not seen nor talked to some of these people on a regular basis for quite some time, a piece of my heart went with them when they died. They helped to mold me into the woman I am today. I may not be as gracious as Mona, as sassy as Sally (well maybe I am on that one), as practical as Bob, or as gentle as Rita but once in a while one of those attributes pops out of me and I remember them.
I’ve heard it said that everyone we encounter, even for a moment, affects us either positively or negatively. These people were part of the good in my life. Some of the sparkle in my life is gone now that they’re gone. But even though tears gather in my eyes when I remember them, a smile appears on my face and joy fills my heart. And, for a moment, that sparkle is back. And I hope I am done with memorial services for the year!
So how about all of you? What experience have you had with memorial services and death in general? Leave me a comment down below and let’s discuss. Maybelle Crabtree signing off.
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