Maybelle Crabtree here. Thanksgiving Day then and now. My how they have changed.
Thanksgiving Day – Then
My Thanksgiving Day then, as a child, was like the famous Normal Rockwell painting, “Freedom From Want.” In it, the grandmother is placing the big turkey platter in front of the grandfather who is ready to slice and serve the bird. Sitting around the table is the rest of the family; all with happy faces and smiles.
That was my family. We gathered together at my grandparent’s house: aunts, uncles, cousins, and significant others as the cousins grew older. Grandma May May took care of most of the meal but mom and my aunts each had a special dish to contribute as well. Mom made her special gelatin salad. Aunt Jean baked her “famous” pecan and pumpkin pies. Aunt Barb contributed sweet potato pie. Finally, Aunt Carol was in charge of the green bean casserole.
Us cousins had important jobs also: mashing potatoes, making gravy, and filling the vegetable tray, The men were in the den watching football on TV,
The Call to Dinner
There were too many people for Grandma’s dining room table so the adults sat there and the kids sat at various card tables arranged around the living room area. At around 2 pm, we were summoned to the dining room. Adults took their seats and the children stood behind them. Anticipation filled the room.
Then Grandma May May appeared through the kitchen doorway holding the platter with the perfectly baked turkey upon it. We oohed and aahed; our eyes big as golf balls and mouths gaped. She placed the platter in front of Grandpa and took her seat next to him.
After he said the blessing, Grandpa picked up the long knife and fork and carved the turkey and gave each of us 2 slices to begin with. Then we piled our plates with all the remaining fixings. It was a bountiful feast.
A Changing Thanksgiving Day
But things changed as I grew older. The older folks died and my cousins scattered across the country. Several times I was alone and eating meals from whatever fast food joint was open. But I still gave thanks for all I had. Tom’s family gathers at Christmas so after we married, he made reservations at a sit-down restaurant that had Thanksgiving dinner options.
Once the kids were born, Tom took charge of the whole day including buying all the necessary items. Tom involved all the kids as they grew older with the preparations. My only job that day was decorating the table which was always the same: a cornucopia as the centerpiece with two brown pillar candles on each side. Fall-colored placemats finished off the décor. The “good” china and silver were used as well as crystal champagne flutes filled with sparkling apple cider.
There was no blessing but, instead, went around the table and each proclaimed what they were thankful for. No laughing, snickering, or commenting was allowed at others’ responses.
Thanksgiving Day – Now
Last year, we didn’t even celebrate Thanksgiving. Yes, the kids came over and made enchiladas with refried beans and Spanish rice. One of them – I don’t remember who – brought a Bundt cake for dessert. We watched football games and Christmas movies. Conversation was few and far between.
This year was different. I made Thanksgiving a big deal. We can be thankful even through this time of sorrow. And I made the whole dinner. My first time ever. The turkey, cooked in the crockpot, was surrounded by stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole. The pumpkin pie finished off the meal.
The table décor was the same including the champagne flutes filled with sparkling apple cider. We said our thanks with tears and laughter. We remembered and toasted the man who was missing. The man who provided not only the necessities of life but humor, wisdom, and love to this brood we call a family.
Thank you, Tom, for all you gave us. We still mourn but, together, we are healing; slowly, very slowly. You are my one and only love, forever and always. Maybelle Crabtree signing out.