Can a Bull in a China Shop Find Gentleness?

MayBelle Crabtree here. I have a question: can a bull in a china shop find gentleness and become as gentle as a lamb? To be exact, can I – someone who rushes recklessly head-long into situations without much forethought – become a touchy-feely, easygoing, and good-natured person who helps other people even when they have wronged me? I sure hope so.

What Gentleness Is

Without a doubt, researching this eighth element of the Fruit of the Spirit got me to thinking about my own attitude about gentleness. For instance, I have misconstrued the word. I thought it meant weakness or being passive. But instead it means being tender-hearted, mild-mannered, showing thankfulness to God, polite, and having a compassionate behavior toward other people.

In the same manner, I thought meekness, a word some Bible versions use in place of gentleness, meant a person was “soft” and easily persuaded. However, that word means being patient or quiet in nature. In both cases, gentleness and meekness are about strength and humility.

One Example

For example, let’s say I’m driving on the freeway and this car cuts me off. I slam on my brakes and look in my rearview mirror hoping the car behind me doesn’t read-end me. But you know what? There’s no car behind me. Unusual for southern California but it’s true. I think, “Why couldn’t that car just go behind me? Why did he (or she) have to squeeze in front of me?”

My first thought is to follow that car to its destination and give the driver some “what for.” Instead, I pray the driver arrives safely wherever he (or she) is going, ask God for forgiveness for my thoughts about the driver, and continue merrily on my way.

Another Example

On another occasion, I and a co-worker, back in my BK (Before Kids) days, were up for the chance to attend a conference with all the company big wigs. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to get noticed; rubbing elbows with people at the executive level. It could possibly even lead to a promotion. One problem, the department budget said only one of us could go. Our supervisor chose my co-worker.

That night, I’m in my apartment wishing her a serious illness, the flu, a broken leg, or anything else that would keep her from her trip. Next morning I walk to her cubicle and congratulate her on her good fortune. I also volunteer to do any tasks that need to be completed in her absence.

Admittedly, revenge was at the forefront of my mind in both instances. However, in the end, gentleness won out in the end. But that wasn’t always the case. I don’t want to even remember about the many, many times I wasn’t so gentle. But, hey, I’m a work in progress. Yes, I have a ways to go but I have come a long way.

What God Wants

To put it another way, God is not as concerned with our comfort as He is with our spiritual growth, and He knows how to grow us far better than we do. As such, He shows tough love and teaches hard lessons to us humans in a very gentle and loving way. We are to calmly accept God’s judgement regarding situations even if His verdict results in personal hardships. Because these hardships are helpful to our spiritual development. And trust me, God has given me a huge dose of His tough love and hard lessons.

Demonstrate Gentleness

So how do we demonstrate more gentleness in our lives? Well, Eddie Foster in his post entitled Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness on the website, lifehopeandtruth.com, offers these solutions.

1. Apologize quickly after rants and emotional outbursts. Gentle people realize how things might affect others and apologize, seeking to make amends and seeking to gain self-control to prevent future outbursts.
2. Remind ourselves of God’s gentleness with us. We must, in turn, show this same gentleness to others.
3. Think about what our attitude looks like. Are we browbeating people? Coercing them into correction? Heck, no one likes that. We need to respect them and treat them as people who are made in God’s image. Because aren’t we all?

After all this research, my goal is to be more of a lamb than a bull. I’d much rather be remembered as someone pleasant to be around, caring, and calm instead of thoughtless, reckless, and angry. That’s not very Godly at all. As I see it, the world has too many thoughtless bulls already. It’s time for a few more lambs.

Besides, I want the promise that Jesus gave in Matthew 5:5 – Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.

What about you? Are you a bull or a lamb? Leave a comment and let’s discuss.

Maybelle Crabtree signing off.