Mother’s Day: Blessed or Stressed?

Maybelle Crabtree here. Mother’s Day is just around the corner and I saw a sign for sale at a local discount store. It read the following: “Behind every great kid is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up.” I stopped in the store aisle for a few moments staring at the sign and pondering the phrase.

I then thought to myself, “Maybelle, how many times when your kids were small, did you think you were a failure as a mom?”

“At least, once a day,” I replied to myself.

Ain’t that the truth!

A Mother’s Worth

A mother is worth $184,820 for all the jobs she performs on a daily basis for her family. That figure comes from a salary.com article which also states a mother averages about 15 hours of work a day which comes to 5,475 hours a year. Her hourly rate is $33.76.

House cleaner, laundry service, chef, child care, teacher, chauffer, nurse, counselor, bookkeeper, organizer, cheerleader, event planner, shopper, referee, and judge are just some of her duties. And don’t forget those moms who work outside the home as well. To put it bluntly, $33.76 an hour sounds a little low to me.

Some History Behind Mother’s Day

Meanwhile, Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 to honor her own mother, Anna Reeves Jarvis, who died in 1905. She conceived it as a way of honoring the many sacrifices a mother makes for her children. It was supposed to be a personal celebration between mothers and their families.

However, all that changed in 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson signed the declaration making Mother’s Day a US holiday. Since then florists, card companies, and other merchants have capitalized on its popularity. Yes, the intimate occasion where sons and daughters would honor their mothers they knew and loved became a commercial hit. Thanks, Woody!

Don’t get me wrong, I am as thankful as any other mom for all the gifts and thoughtfulness exuded to me on Mother’s Day; especially the hand-made gifts from their school years which I still hold close to my heart. But is it only me who finds the day more stressful than pleasant?

Dreading the Day

Looking back, I was filled with dread as that second Sunday in May approached. Our day began with us all attending church in the morning which was the calmest moments of the day. Then it was out to lunch with a thousand other families with the same idea. Wait times were almost an hour or more. Tom invariably wondered off somewhere leaving me to entertain the kids. I brought snacks for them but not enough. Toys held their attention for a short time. Games of Rock, Paper, Scissors and I Spy were played haphazardly.

By the time we were seated at our still sticky table, the kids were tired, hungry, and whiny. Most of the “special” Mother’s Day menu items were gone. I wanted to cry but kept a brave smile on my face as I ate salmon lasagna. I like salmon and lasagna; just not together. Finally at home, I would run upstairs into our bedroom, lock the door, lie on the bed, and decompress from my special day.

Once we tried skipping church and going to breakfast but that was no better. Eventually, we celebrated on the Saturday before Mother’s Day. In the morning, Tom would take the kids out for a few hours, leaving me in a quiet home to do as I pleased. That meant turning on the electric fireplace, curling up on the comfy couch, sipping hot herbal tea, and reading a book with soft instrumental music playing in the background.

Later in the day, they all arrived home with cards and a floral bouquet from the local grocery store. Dinner was at our favorite pizza place. Laughter and joy filled the air. I came home relaxed and blessed. Why did it take so long for us to figure it out?

A New Kind of Mother’s Day

Now it’s just me to celebrate on my own. I don’t mean that in any negative way. It’s just a different way. It’s the transition from being a full-time mother needing to be everything to everyone to a mother who has successfully launched her children into the world and is there for advice, celebrations, or a shoulder to cry on. They still text: “Hi Mom happy mom’s day love u;” “happy moms day. Good or bad you made me what I am;” “mom this is your day celebrate!”

Anna Jarvis spent the later part of her life denouncing the holiday’s commercialization. She even tried to remove it from the calendar and spent most of her personal wealth on legal fees to launch lawsuits against groups who used the name “Mother’s Day.” As you can see, she was unsuccessful to that end.

Overall, I’m pretty glad Anna didn’t remove her holiday from the calendar. Yes, I screwed up a lot of the time; we moms are famous for that. But kids are resilient. And through all of our faults and foibles, the kids turn out pretty great indeed. And if it takes a special day once a year for them, and us, to remember that, then so be it. But let’s just eat at home.

What do you think of Mother’s Day? Leave me a comment down below and let’s discuss. Maybelle Crabtree signing off.