A Third Child? Why Me God?

Maybelle Crabtree here. Why did God gave me a third child? That’s a question I have often contemplated. Back then we were a happy family of four. Tom and I produced our replacements – one boy and one girl. We felt fortunate and blessed to have conceived two babies which was two more than I thought I would have.

According to Doctors…

My appendix ruptured during my college years. I will spare you the details of that event for now. Let me just say that it could be a blog post in and of itself because it is interesting and miraculous that I survived.

The doctors surmised that I must have a high tolerance for pain and they were amazed that I was still alive and walking upright when I walked into their office.

Anyway, one of the consequences of this experience was that my right fallopian tube was twisted. A direct result of the rupture.

“Your ob-gyn can go in and fix it for you,” the surgeon informed me during my post-op check-up.

Why didn’t you untwist it while you had me open?” I asked confused.

He shook his head. “Not my department.”

I didn’t have it fixed. I was in college. Marriage, and then babies, were the farthest things from my mind. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to get married. Also, the maternal instinct was not in my DNA. While my high school friends earned extra money babysitting, I was a “gopher” in a small second-hand bookstore. Over time, my twisted tube was a faint memory.

Could I Even Have a Child?

Then I met Tom and we started dating. As our love grew for each other, we began talking about marriage and I told him about my twisted tube.

“You still have one that’s straight,” he said to me. “Maybe that’s enough.

I smiled at him.

“Besides we can always adopt.”

Since nothing is impossible with God. I did become pregnant; not once but twice. Two beautiful miracle babies filled our lives with sleepless nights, numerous diaper changes, and endless joy and wonderment. Tom and I were content with our little family. But God wasn’t.

A third child would be like sliding down a snake in a game of Snakes and Ladders

Liane Moriaty – australian author

The Third Child Appears

When that home pregnancy test showed positive results, I sat on the side of the bath tub, head in hands, and cried. What have we done? I wondered. Why, God, why? I was in my early forties. Matthew was in elementary school and Laurel just started preschool. I finally had free time; a few hours in the morning to do nothing but what I wanted. I could write again! Excitement filled my body. But God found another way to fill that time.

I gathered myself together and went downstairs to where Tom sat eating his breakfast, placing the test stick next to his cereal bowl.

“What’s this?” he asked between bites.

“A pregnancy test. It says I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, geez.”

My feelings exactly.

“Maybe it’s a false positive. Maybe it’s the beginning of menopause,” he suggested.

A woman knows. “No, I’m pregnant.”

A few days later the diagnosis was confirmed by my doctor. Now we had to tell the kids. Laurel was thrilled to become a big sister. “I thought you were going to tell us we were getting a dog!” Matthew huffed as he stomped up the stairs. “I want a dog, not a baby.” My thoughts exactly Matthew.

Despite our feelings then, Holly joined our happy brood. Now we were a handful – a person for each digit; our family was complete.

Motherhood and Me

Motherhood was the hardest job I ever loved. There was never time off. Always on call. No sick leave, vacation, or promotions. It was easy but somehow I muddled my way through it. At times I felt like a failure. Adding a third child didn’t help my confidence any. Many a time I would shut the bedroom door and screamed, “Really, God? You thought I would be a good mother?”

Congrats on your third child, you’re officially outnumbered. Way to think things through.

Anonymous

Back then before Holly, each child had a hand to go. They couldn’t go far. When they struggled to be free, I held their hands tight. Not enough to hurt, but enough for them to know they weren’t going anywhere. Now with three is meant one had some freedom. The one would not always hold onto the sibling’s hand and detoured from the maternal path I wanted them to follow.

It was only through perseverance and grit that we all lived through those childhood years. I look back in amazement and realize that God had a lot to do with it. Yes, there are things I would do differently if I could do it all over again. But I look at my kids, grown adults now who are happy, caring, and loving, and realize that even with all our faults Tom and I did something right.

Thankful For the Third Child

Now I know why God gave me a third child. It was to experience the amazement of babyhood one last time: the spontaneous laughter, the smiles for no reason, the mischievous looks. Yes, there was the fatigue, sore breasts, and juggling three kids’ activities. But I was more relaxed, relied on my own experience and knowledge instead of the expert advice in books and knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

The memories I cherish and hold them close to my heart. I can’t imagine not having all three kids. Every day I thank God for them especially the third one who kept me humble and young. But I’m awfully grateful, there were no more.

Finally, what do you think? Have you had a similar situation? If so, leave me know. Even if you haven’t, leave a comment down below and let’s discuss. Maybelle Crabtree signing off.