You Are What You Wear was a popular television show a few years back. Laurel and Holly watched the show every week. In short, a “fashion challenged” woman received a complete head-to-toe makeover – new hair style, make-up, clothes, everything – each week. This hapless woman then unveiled her new self to all the important people in her life at the end of the hour and they oohed and aahed over her transformation.
I’m sure the girls watched the show for entertainment purposes but I always suspected something more sinister went through their minds. For instance, whenever I sat down and watched the show with them, they threw subtle hints my way.
“Hey, Mom, that dress would look great on you.”
“Maybe you should try highlights in your hair, Mom.”
That color, Mom, is you!”
I Am Not What I Wear
In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I am a fashion challenged woman. I am a jeans and t-shirt, sweats and sneakers girl. I wear anything that’s comfy. Heck, being home with the kids most of my married life kind of made me that way. Sorry, but I’m not June Cleaver who does housework in pearls and high heels. But I do admire her for doing that..
Now when I hit menopause something happened to me. Before menopause, I wore classic, neutral colors that stood the test of time. But afterwards, I got wild. Cheetah print and bright red gained ground in my closet. Once in a while you have to go crazy and I’m blaming it on a mid-life crisis.
However, my girls are not too impressed with my bold step into fashion and insist on coming with me when I go clothes shopping. I have no idea where they got their fashion sense. In the past, I warned them about being a slave to fashion and trying to keep up with the latest influencer. And I had to put my foot down more than once on approving some clothing articles.
Laurel Buys Jeans
A case in point, Laurel went shopping with her girlfriends before they started junior high. She, the newly crowned teen-ager, thought she was old enough to choose her own clothes without me. I agreed and gave her some cash; reminding her to be frugal with the amount. She nodded and went on her merry way.
Later, she arrived home, excited about her purchases. After changing in the bathroom, she modeled the fashions for me. The first item was a pair of jeans.
“How do you like them?’ she asked me.
I was stunned. The jeans were torn on the thigh area of both legs. “They have holes in them,” I replied. “Did you buy them like that?”
“Of course, Mom. They’re the latest style.”
Really? I thought to myself. The first time I’m not with her and she buys jeans with holes in them. “Did you go to a thrift store?”
Laurel rolled her eyes. “No, mom. At a store in the mall. They were on sale.”
“Well, I certainly hope so. How much were they? Ten, fifteen dollars?”
The Price of a Pair of Jeans
“Forty-nine dollars.”
“Forty-nine dollars!” My voice raised a little. “You bought ripped jeans for forty-nine dollars? Are you crazy? I told you to be careful with the money and you buy jeans with holes in them for forty-nine dollars? Take them off. They are going back.”
Tears rolled down Laurel’s face. My reaction was definitely not what she expected. “Oh, Mom. You just don’t understand. They’re the latest style and all the girls at school will be wearing them.”
“Not every girl because you won’t be. At least not those. If you want ripped jeans, I’ll take you to the thrift store and buy a pair for less than half of those and you can rip them to your heart’s delight. No one will know the difference.”
“I will.”
“You’ll get over it.”
Laurel ran to the stairs and stomped upstairs to her room, slamming the bedroom door behind her.
Back In My Day
She was wrong. I did understand. I understood more than she would ever know. Money was tight when I was growing up. My parents accounted for every penny in the household budget. More times than not, my jeans came from the boys department of the store because they were cheaper. Also, Mom sewed patches on holes that appeared in the knee area or anywhere else to hide them. Holes and rips in jeans weren’t a fashion statement like they are now.
I decided right there and then that Laurel would learn a lesson on practicality. I could have let her keep the jeans. We could afford them but what would that teach her? The value of money had been lost somewhere along the way. I was lax in my teachings; allowing society to take the lead. Now I was taking charge again. It wouldn’t be easy but I would do it.
A couple of days later, I sat down with Laurel and we talked about the situation. I listened to her and she listened to me. But I’m still the mom so the jeans went back to the store. Afterwards we drove to the thrift store near our house. She found a pair of jeans with no holes, rips, or tears. She even found a pair of white sneakers which weren’t too worn that she decided she would decorate with color rhinestones. Now she was getting creative. The total came to $22.
You Are What You Wear
Over the years, we had other squabbles about clothing – length of shorts and skirts, how much skin can she in the midriff area, and don’t even get me started on bathing suits – but with love and discernment we got through those times. Later on, it started all over again with Holly.
In retrospect, the title of that show is true. You are what you wear. People can tell a lot about who you are by what you wear. It’s a first impression and I want my girls to show they respect and love themselves. Naturally, for me, I like to show that I’m comfortable in my own skin. Also, I’m at an age where I just don’t care that much about first impressions. So don’t be surprised if you see me show up on that, or some other, makeover show. I have a feeling my girls just might get some revenge on me someday.
You’ve heard my story, now tell me yours? Do you agree that you are what you wear?
My issue with my daughter was not with rips but with camo. Yes, she could wear it to school but not to church–especially the camo bib shorts. She’s very athletic to this day and pretty much always wears tailored or sporty clothes, unlike me. But then, the upside of this is that she’s a very good innovator and leader. The world needs more of her–camo and all.
Dear Miss Sue, I’m so glad your daughter “turned out” alright. You sound like you’re very proud of her as you should be.
What a great lesson!! This hits my heart and my life. Mine is the opposite. My mother was a fashionista before it was cool!! I was taught make up and hair done before you got out of bed!! Now days I might comb my hair and make up is no where to be found!!! And I found out people still like me!!
What a great lesson for everyone. I always told my girls that it’s inner beauty that counts. I allowed them to wear make-up when they started junior high school – mascara, eye shadow, and lip gloss. I told them they couldn’t look trampy. They did very well. Sometimes I couldn’t even tell they had make-up on. They learned it all themselves from the internet. Me? Well, I went to one of those department stores with the make-up counter and got a makeover for free on the day of my wedding. My girls have given me tips on make-up wearing. Also, they learned how to do different hairstyles that way too – on the internet. I’ve most always had short hair because it’s easier to take care of. They wanted long hair. So for self survival they learned how to do up-dos and French braids. I have two beautiful girls – inside and out – even if I do say so myself.